Me (announcing loudly and clearly from the bathroom): I'm going into the tub !
Kiddo (immediatlely throwing the bathroom door wide open): Guess that means you do not want to be disturbed.
Me: You got that right, kiddo! Stick to it !
Kiddo: Sure.

Minute later, kiddo in the bathroom, breath taken to say something different, but then he saw my gadgets lined around the bathtub: ARE YOU CRAZY ??
Me: What?
Kiddo: You have your laptop with you by the TUB !!!!
Me: Yeah. And ?
Kiddo: Don't you know that xyz amount of volt can kill you and ....... (on and on ....)
Me: Says the one that keeps his cell phone right on the rim while he's in the tub. Might kill you, too. Boooooooooh !!!Get out and let me chill.
Kiddo: You apparently do not know what kind of ramifications this might entail?
Me: Kiddo, take a chill pill and now leave the bathroom. Thank you.

Peeking over my shoulder: Who are you chatting with?
Me: Hmmm,  wanna know, huh?
Kiddo: Yeah.
Me: Means I have to be online, huh?
Kiddo: Sure.
Me: Nuff said. Get out.

Chill time ;-)

bright ass and bushy tailed

bright ass and pussy wailed

bright was and wussy mailed

grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Kiddo's attempts at "bright-eyed and bushy-tailed".

And I swear he did not know what exactly he said there !!!!

Well, it ain't easy being green ..... especially not if your first language is Germenglish ;-(

Met kiddo at the bus station after work today.
And noooooooooooo, first question was not, for once, "What's for dinner?".

But when we got off the bus he started to give a lecture on as to why he doesn't like pizza anymore:

I mean, pizza is okay. After all I don't have it that often. But nowadays I've had had it after half a pizza. Remember when I could eat TWO !!?? But, something goes awry with my taste buds now after half a pizza. It's first "oh yummy!". Then it's like, I don't know. The pleasure just vanishes. I tastes good, but only for half s pizza. No clue why that happened.
I sat there and just wondered why I put two pizzas in the oven last week. Yeah sure, I USED to eat two.
But nah, it's really not that tasty anymore.
Wonder why that is ....
Oh, can I have hot dogs for dinner ??

Me: WHAT ??  Who are you and what did you do to MY kid ??? The one that asked me if I could make poached salmon for dinner. Or duck breast. Or pasta with gorgonzola sauce. WHO are you ????

Kiddo: What ???

He's having hot dogs for dinner *hmpf*

Yesterday.
I'm on the bus on my way home from work. 4:45 pm my cell phone rings. I already KNEW who it was without looking.
Kiddo: Where are you?
Me: Look at the clock and then take an educated guess.
Kiddo: No, yes, well, no, I mean where exactly are you?
Me: Corner of xxx and yyy.
Kiddo: What's for dinner ?????
(I just _knew_ it !!!)
Me: You'll see that when I get home; gotta go to the supermarket first.
Kiddo: Can I have one of the sausages in the fridge?
Me: No, they are part of dinner.
Kiddo: When do you get home?
Me: Take another educated guess. See you.
Half an hour later I get home with the rest for dinner.
Kiddo (No hello whatsoever): So what's for dinner?
Me: Buddy, if you ever call me on my cell again from my landline spending senselessly money just to ask me what's for dinner you will wish that you never knew me!
Kiddo: But I was hungry!!
Me: Then make yourself a sandwich, eat a yoghurt, have an apple or whatever !
Kiddo: Nah.
Me: Well, then you couldn't have been so hungry.
Kiddo: So you gonna tell me now what's for dinner ?
Me just walks away ....

Earlier today I told kiddo a somewhat funny story about the disposal of the x-mas tree.
Kiddo: "The x-mas tree is gone?"
Me: "Ahem, since last Tuesday."
Kiddo: "Oh, I didn't notice."
Me: "It was right smack in the middle of the living room and you didn't notice??????"
Kiddo:" I knew there was SOMETHING different. Just couldn't figure out what."

Uh ........

Last night. Kiddo ready to go to bed : "I'm wearing socks to bed."
Me: "Well, as you don't have a girlfriend, I guess you can pull that off."
Kiddo: "Why? What's wrong with wearing socks to bed ?"
Me: "It's highly unerotic to wear socks to bed."

Makes me wonder a little that I didn't hear a highly indignant "Mohommmmmmmmm!!"

Panic. Dishevelled teen running into my room. A bit past noon.
Kiddo: "Why didn't you wake me !!!!???"
Me: "Was I supposed to ???"
Kiddo. "Yes. No. Yes. No. But WHY didn't you wake me!!???"
Me: "Didn't know I had to ...... "
Kiddo: "Do you know what time it is !!??"
Me:"Uh, yes."
Kiddo: "Do you know how long I have slept ???!!!"
Me: "Uh, yes."
Kiddo: "I mean, I went to bed at midnight. Not 5 am. Do you know what time it is???!!!"
Me: "Uh ..... "
Kiddo runs into the bathroom, slams doors, wiggles half-dressed along the hallway, throws on his coat, halfway out the door ....
Kiddo: "Mom, say good-bye to me? Kiss?"
Me:" Uh ....."
Kiddo: "See you tonite at 8."
And gone.

Kiddo up at 6 am. Weekend.
"Ooooops, I set the alarm."
Me: "Go back to bed!"
Kiddo leaves only to return less than half an hour later and crawls into my bed.
Me: "I meant YOUR bed."
Kiddo: "The return to the sleeping process is a highly complicated matter."
Me: "Uh .............. "

I am getting scared now.

Kiddo discovered TBBT (The Big Bang Theory) and gets the hang of it .....

Nerd-alert ????