I have a seriously sore throat. It's quite an effort to speak. So I said to kiddo:
If you need to talk to me about something that requires an answer then go ahead now as I fear that by tomorrow I will have lost my voice.

Kiddo: Yesssssssssssssss !!!!

Okay, it came with a major grin, but is he trying to tell me something ?? ;-)

Kiddo: I have to write to the Government.
Me: Oh, about education politics?
Kiddo: Nah, that's your department.
Me: Ok. Why then?
Kiddo: Christmas.
Me: Excuse me ?
Kiddo: Three days of Christmas is wayyyyyyy too long.

Okay, and who's The Grinch now ???? ;-P

Kiddo earlier this evening:
Unstoppable.
Me: Huh?
Kiddo: I saw it already, but let's get into the x-mas spirit.
Me: You mean the movie?
Kiddo: Yep.
Me: By watching an action movie about the derailing of a fast speed train we get into the x-mas spirit????
Kiddo: Sure. It's cool.
Me: Ok, I set up the x-mas tree and even got the frigging lights on it without getting electrocuted, I already set the table, nicely and with love, and you need THAT movie to get into the x-mas spirit ??
Kiddo (grinning): C'mon. Please.
Me: At least admit that you are a train freak and just get a kick out of that movie and it has nothing whatsoever to do with x-mas.
Kiddo: Yep.

Me just giving up: Turn on the movie.

(Then he keeps on telling me what will happen. HELLO ??)

Later on during the movie.

Kiddo hands me some gummi bear-like stuff: Here, have some.
Me: Thank you.
Kiddo: Aren't you gonna eat it?
Me: Uh. later.
Kiddo: (just grinning)
Me: What ???
Kiddo: I just found that on the floor. I must have dropped it last evening.
Me: W H A T ???
Kiddo: Just wanted to see if you'll eat it.

Me just giving up: I'll eat it. So THERE !!! ;-))

Sent kiddo off to the supermarket to buy that burning paste we need for the fondue Monday.
He called from the parking lot:
"I am so NOT going in there! People are nuts. You should see the parking lot. I'm going Monday morning."
Me: "And you really think it's going to be better on Monday???"
Kiddo: "Anything is better than this!"
Me: "I have the feeling you will wish on Monday that you went today ....."
Kiddo: "I don't care. I am NOT going in there. People are crazy. The world didn't come to an end, but from the looks of this it might as well come to an end tomorrow. Jeeeeeez !"

PS Monday 12/24

 Kiddo just woke up and dragged himself over here, fell on my bed:
G'shlah ?
Me: Who died?
Kiddo: G'shlah?
Me: HUH ??? Wanna take the sock out of your mouth?
Kiddo: Never mind.

 Me: You know that you have to go to the store, right? As you didn't want to go Saturday. I'll see you in about 2 hours from now then *evilgrin*
Kiddo: Oh Mohommmm. Nobody will be there.

And, to his credit I have to say - he was right. And came back within 30 minutes with that "told-ya-so" grin ;-)

 

 

Kiddo: Oh, Niedersachsen is called Lower Saxony? Weird word. Hmm, what about Sachsen-Anhalt? Saxony Stop ??
Me: Uhm.........

New twist in the "what's-for-dinner?"-discussion.

Kiddo: What's for dinner, but I don't want to eat anything.
Me: What??
Kiddo: Went to Mickey D's with ***.
Me: WHAT ???

This coming from a kid that doesn't like junk food and gives me a hard time whenever I say, once in a blue, we'll have pizza or whatever prepared food.

I'm crushed ;-(

And noooooooo, he didn't go with a girl *hmpf*

Kiddo just got home:
")&/(%$&/()=/(&/&§$%%/&()=/)&%$"
Me: Huh?
Kiddo: "§$%&/()=/&%$§"§%&/()=)?=/%&$§$%&/()

It snows. Major delays on public transportation. Total idiot of a bus driver. Bus jammed. It still snows. Gets on my nerves. Stupid students on the bus. What's for dinner ?

At least I THINK that is what he said ;-)

Kiddo: What's for breakfast?
Me: Whatever tickles your fancy. How about pancakes?
Kiddo: Oh yes.
Me: Then go ahead.
Kiddo: Me ??????

Is it groundhog day ????? ;-)

Me, walking to the main bus station after work. Upon arrival I saw kiddo with 3 classmates (two of them female) also waiting for the bus. Hmmm. What to do? I decided to ignore him, sat down on a bench and started reading. He usually takes another bus 2 min after mine, but caught up with me on the last stretch walking home. Asked me if I hadn't seen him. Sure, I saw you, but figured you really do not want your Mom to come up and say "HI". First it was ... nah, you could have done that. Me *grinning and not saying anything* Hours later - as in a few min ago: Mom, thank you. I thought about it. I love you and all, but yeah, would have been soooooo embarrassing if you had come over and said HI. Me just grinning and saying: Love you, too :-)

Kiddo: Do we have lettuce?
Me: Uh, it's 11 pm.
Kiddo: But I like your salad.
Me: At 11 pm ??
Kiddo: Yes. Can WE make some.
Me: Go ahead.
Kiddo: No, WE.
Me: Not at this hour. You are nuts.
Kiddo: But I like your salad.
Me: You are repeating yourself. If you want salad at this hour, make it yourself. I suggest you go to bed.
Kiddo: But I don't know how to make it.
Me: Olive oil, balsamico, salt, pepper, oregano, garlic, paprika ... the usual
Kiddo: But you can make it so that it tastes good, I can't.
Me: Then learn it. Learning by doing.
Kiddo: But it's late.
Me: My point.

;-)

Cracking up again. At this ungodly hour. 6 am.
Kiddo: At what temp did you wash my jeans?
Me: As always.
Kiddo: You washed them too hot. They don't fit anymore.
(standing in front of me demonstrating how he can't close the button)
Me: Could it be that you are trying to fit into MY jeans?? Mine are 29, yours 33. No wonder they don't fit.
Kiddo: Oh.

That's what happens if you refuse to turn on the lights in the morning ;-)

Cracking up.
I'm on vacation, kiddo not just yet.
Usually I get up at 5:30, kiddo at 6 am.
So here goes:
Kiddo: You don't have to get up. You are on vacation.
Me: Nah, I like starting the day with you. I'll get up.
Kiddo: Nah.
Me: Huh??
Kiddo: I kinda like it when I'm alone in the morning. You just chill.
Me: (somewhat hurt) Okayyyyyyyyyyyy

10 min later.

Kiddo: Uh, yeah, ahem... ( pointing his chin at me)
Me: Uh ?? What ??
Kiddo: Maybe you can get up? (pointing his chin at me again)
Me: WHAT ??
Kiddo: Seeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ??
Me: Noooooooooooo. What ???
Kiddo: Hair.
Me: Oh. Need a shave?
Kiddo: hmm, yes.
Me: Want me to do it?
Kiddo: Yes, can you get up tomorrow morning and do it?
Me: I said I'll get up anyway,
Kiddo: Noooo !

Minute later:

Kiddo: Yes, please.

The joys of being the single Mom of a 15-yr-old son ;-))

Me attempting to bake the x-mas cake.
Kiddo came home.
Kiddo: What are you doing ?????
Me: Making a cake.
Kiddo: But you are doing it all wrong !!!!
Me: Have I ever said that I knew how to bake ????? Gimme some credit. At least I'm trying.
Kiddo: But ...
Me: Take over ! Please yourself.
Kiddo: Okayyyyyy. first there are lumps. You can avoid them by .............................................................
Me: Uhuh
Kiddo: Then ...............................
Me:Uhuh
Kiddo: Are you serious? You didn't know this? Oh please, just do this that that .....
Me: Uhuh
(me having a hard , seriously hard, time not cracking up)
Kiddo. Ok. Let's do this ...... that. Done ! Jeez.

Result:
Cake in the oven.
Kiddo all smiles.
Me all smiles.
For different reasons.

Twist to this:
He won't even be able to try this cake as it contains nuts.

Yep, I'm back in the Christmas-spirit :-)

I was asked to write a book about my encounters with kiddo.
Apparently folks get a chuckle out of our everyday life.
Well, you only know the half of it.
But that half I'll gladly share :-)

So gimme some time to figure this blog-thing out and then go ahead and laugh .....